See you Soons' and Pretty Things

I have a hard time blogging. I have a hard time saying no. I have a hard time remembering to feed myself when I become busier than a bee. I have an even harder time saying goodbyes. So recently I changed "goodbyes" to "see you soons". It's worked out rather well in my opinion. I do not really understand WHY this is so difficult for me, and why it really has always been a struggle for me to get up the courage and say "goodbye". Maybe because it is too final. Maybe it is because I've been at college for two years and every time I leave to go back to school my mom clings to me and cries. Maybe I am an insensitive freak. Or maybe it's just that I don't like to see those that I love most become emotional over me. I do have a great faith that I will see everyone again soon, even when I'm just going to be gone for a few months. I realize it is extremely hard for a mother to say goodbye or even "see you soon" to any of her children. I'm assuming it's even harder for my dear mother because she is an emotional woman AND one that gave birth to an emotional but also EXTREMELY independent first born daughter (me). SO needless to say she is used to taking care of me and is struggling with letting go. However I think it is endearing, although overwhelming at times. I do not like long goodbyes, just keep it simple, mostly because I know how emotional I am, and I really do not like showing those emotions and letting my guard down. It's funny how that works.

To help with my issue in saying goodbye I want to highlight my last few months here in beautiful Newbury Park. I will illustrate with words and pictures:

It began with Christmas time and ended with warm Spring days filled with beach trips and pretty dresses. It had a great beginning with family and friends that I had missed so dearly and soon will miss again when I am not in their constant presence.

This is my beautiful family, well a small portion of them. These are all the cousins except one on my Mom's side, well immediate cousins anyways. We took fresh pictures for our grandma's wall where our faces are hung on the wall to be admired by those that walk into her home.

This was followed by a wonderful Christmas with family and friends along with a great New Year's celebration as well. 

There were soccer games attended where I hardly paid attention until the last half, where we froze our tushies off in the cold stands. Totally worth it...kinda :)

Getting to hang out with my brother who also holds the title of best friend :)

Oh ya this happened too...

Trying to pull off being a gangster

Pretty entertaining when everyone calls you the "cute" gangster

There were of course girls nights eating nonsense while watching chick flicks on the couch all cuddled up in warm blankets.

There was the joy of working up to 40 hour weeks as a nanny for 2, sometimes 3 families. But honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Those sweet children blessed my life in numerous ways. Being called "La La" by a two year old struggling to speak, or the smile of dimple faced baby when you sing to them was worth pure exhaustion. The experience, lessons learned, and the hugs, kisses, and smiles made all of the tantrums, poopy diapers, and whining totally worth it.

Being a mommy is tough. I can't wait!

Speaking of becoming a mommy....

Just kidding! Totally fake! But it sure did fool some people. This Winter I was FHE co-chair for my Singles Ward and one of the activities we planned was a Where's Waldo activity in the mall. It was a blast. We definitely had a bunch of characters participate ;)

Now I mentioned in a previous blog something about a certain boy I was missing, ya, well that nostalgia was fulfilled--thank goodness--a couple of weeks ago. I was priveledged to spend a week with sweet Cameron and boy did it go well! I also got to see many people that I love dearly along with staying with my best good friend Laurel. What a fun week long sleepover we had!

The original reason I went was for the festival of colors, however, as is typical of me I get distracted...especially by a cute boy.

It was a wonderful reunion :)


To say the least...I like him :)

Then it was back to home for a little bit to finish my classes, job, and say my "see you soons'" before I headed back off to Rexburg for my 4th semester in college! I never thought finishing up sophomore year would come so quickly!! To enjoy the last few weeks I spent lots of time with family and friends.

This included...


Trips to the beach with my girls :)


LOTS of sleeping.


Playing with Erin, my cousin and best friend forever :)

Magic Mountain trip with some of my favorite people. It was kinda the last hoorah for a few of us.




I love my Ashely Rose :)


Like I said...some of my favorites :)


And the crazy girls of course :)


I just really like my face here. So typical Karla


This girl is one of my favorite people! Moon bump! :)


They are all wonderful. See you soon friends!

Then there were photo shoots with my best friend. My mom :)

Playing with my mommy as she snapped photos of me in my new spring clothes :) Sassy of course.

This was a good and fun day with my mommy :) I love her more than words or pictures will ever be able to describe.


I like pretty things :)

Now i realize this is a lot t handle at once so take your time :) I need to be better at updating more often, but for now this will suffice. It's been an incredible experience being home and now it is time to go to my other home in Rexburg, Idaho. I await the long crazy nights with roommates and the driving back and forth between Rexburg and Provo to see a special someone ;) Along with actually being in a classroom! I look forward to library study sessions and devotionals and spring weather in the Burg. I cannot wait to get back into the flow of how I do things and live on my own. Thank you to all that supported me and loved me endlessly while I was home this Winter. It truly was an amazing experience and a worth while one at that :)

Stricken with Nostalgia

I have been feeling various forms of nostalgia lately. Not to mention I have fallen in love with using that word to describe my longing for people, things,times, places. Today I want to explore this feeling more by what the world knows as blogging about it. To start off with people I have quite a few. There are however certain ones that I feel I long for their presence more than others. 

Erin Benton:

Erin Benton is my cousin. We are four months apart and have been pretty much inseparable for most of our lives but more so the past 6 years. Basically we like to do weird things like jumping up to give high fives, sporting pig tails, and trying to capture our shadows in the moment as well as ourselves. However, this inseparableness has been impacted as of late due to our attending different universities. Although currently we are only a couple of hours apart it has proven to be quite the task to get together with school, jobs, musicals, family, and other silly things that tend to get in the way of two long lost cousins. Basically Erin is my other half. We have been through enough together to write a pretty decent book that would capture the heart of our impenetrable relationship. Yes, that's correct. We are rock solid. Best friends. Cousins. Sisters. I cannot imagine my life without her and owe so much of who I am to her good character and coaching abilities. Erin is my strength in many ways. We have laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed. We know each other well enough that we basically feel the same way on many issues that come up, and yet we are different enough that we go to each other to seek advice when we are stuck. Words really cannot describe our relationship I'm realizing as I type this long winded paragraph. So the fact that I love her will just have to do.


Nostalgic for Cousin time.

Next up McKenna Rose:


This is my roommate and one of my best friends McKenna. She is currently serving in Mexico as a teacher with my other roommate Carly (who I will talk about later). She is one of the best people I know. She's strong, solid, charismatic, loving, and full of life. Not to mention you give her a task and she gets to work and isn't satisfied until it is glowing with magnificence! We are going on our 4th semester rooming together and I wouldn't have it any other way. She is a wonder to live with. Pillow talks, sweet notes, beds made with love, and silence when she knew I needed it. She knows when to hug and when to leave alone and when to console or just when to cuddle and let me cry. We know each other well and have come to respect one another. My heart aches for my Otter :) I can't seem to describe these emotions inside of me but I get choked up often and just want a big hug. McKenna is one of those people that just knows. She has a testimony and she really does everything she can to help it grow. She knows she is imperfect like the rest of us and is constantly trying to fix those areas in need of fixing without changing herself. She is passionate and good and always someone willing to cuddle. It was different last year, something has definitely changed with her and I. A bond deeper than words can described has formed through countless trials, laughter spells, sleepovers, heartaches, and numerous hugs. She is one of my greatest exemplars. She has so much knowledge about life and intellectually as well. I admire her greatly. I will always be in gratitude to her. She is a large part of who I am today and who I want to continue to become.


Nostalgic for Kenna.

Carly Kay:


Where do I even start? I feel like this blog is just making all of this worse, and that I'm really NOT getting any of these feelings spoken the way I would like. Oh well. Onward. Carly Kay Berg is one of the best people I know. I mean that wholeheartedly. She loves everyone. She doesn't speak poorly and she finds joy in every aspect of life. She is so sweet and sensitive. She has come to know me very well over this past year and a half (we are also going on our 4th semester living together) and she has been there as one of my best supporters and best friends the whole way through. Something I love about Carly, and I realize this is odd, is how tender she looks when she is trying not to cry. Her big beautiful green eyes completely fill with liquid and she tries so hard not to let them spill over and I can always tell she is truly touched, upset, overwhelmed, etc. She feels unlike anyone I've ever seen before. She loves deeply. She is rooted and strong. She finds joy and gives some of the best hugs. On the other hand Carly is one of the funniest people I have ever met. She has the most obnoxious laugh ( I think it even beats mine!) and can make me cry from laughter no matter what mood I'm in due to her hilarious jokes and wise cracks. Not to mention we are both in love with David Archuleta and walked 30 minutes to meet him and have been to two of his concerts. Yes TWO and were the ones standing and screaming and singing through almost the whole concert.  Carly is my sunshine-even though she loves the rain. She is a sweet soul and she has touched my life and affected it forever.


Nostalgic for Carly.


Now for something a little new and fresh but honestly the nostalgia has been there for a while:

Cameron Mulder-

This guy is a sweetheart, charming, a genuine person. I won't say too much on this subject because its technically a pending matter but I will say this: I care about him and am going to celebrate the beginning of Spring with him in a few weeks! Thank goodness that longing feeling will be gone for a few days at least. I realize the feeling of longing to be in his presence will come and go with our tendency to never be in the same place at the same time. However I've realized that distance really does make the heart grow fonder. It's worth giving it a shot in my book :) All I can say is he is wonderful and he is real. And I've already said too much.


Nostalgic for Cameron.

Then there is my darling Erika Larsson:


I love this girl, as you can probably tell by the picture. She is strong willed, independent, spicy, and yet extremely talented, motherly, and spiritual. Sure we clash here and there but overall she has been a huge blessing in my life. She has taught me that what it's like to live in the moment and to have no fear. She has taught me it's okay to have no tact once in a while and that standing up for yourself is a necessity. Erika has come through and shined through her trials and struggles. She is a warrior woman. I love her and am grateful for her sisterhood. The past few months that I've been home and she has been at school in Rexburg we have been able to talk every week or so. It's been sweet because we've pretty much only had each other and we know each other well enough to sense when something is wrong through a simple text--or a phone call starting with tears. It's amazing what you can learn from living with girls of different backgrounds and lifestyles.

Nostalgic for Erika Baby.

Then there's these two goobers: Stephanie and Brindisi


Brindisi is fierce. She tackled her first semester of college like it was a breeze. I love her dearly and am always inspired by her incredible faith and talents she has been blessed with. She is creative and spunky and just awesome. Everyone wants to be her friend and I got to be her roommate AND friend. Better deal in my book. She has a super sweet and sensitive side as well that I often felt I was led to when she needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to.


This is miss Stephanie Skeans. A fun, enthusiastic, brave girl. She is beautiful inside and out and although she would deny all the nice things I love to say about her she really is a great person. She is one of the most caring people I know.

Nostalgic for Stephanie and Brindisi.

Now there are many more people that I miss dearly but know I will either get to see soon or at some point in my life. However this blog is about people I am currently thinking about a lot and just missing having them as an active part of my life (although there are definitely some missing). This last person is someone I miss dearly.    She is also someone I admire greatly, yet someone I didn't get to know very well. We had a very neat bond for the 6 years that we knew each other. I know I will meet her again someday. Lately I have been missing her deeply.


Meet Patricia Horne. My beautiful grandmother. I was 3 or 4 years old in this picture. I miss her incredibly. She died prematurely when I was nearly 7 years old. I remember walking up to her casket and patting her cold hand and saying "Bye grandma, I love you." She called me her angel and would always protect me from the unruly boys in our family. She loved me more than I'll ever know or understand. I literally was her pride and joy and am just learning now how deeply she loved me. She loved ladybugs and passed that love along to me along with her ladybug collection (decorations, not dead ladybugs). She was the most amazing woman and I wish I had known her better. I was recently doing some family history research and saw she had all of her work done for her and had been sealed to my Grandpa Bob who died 6 months after she did. I miss them all so much and long for the day when I can be back in my angel's arms.

Nostalgic for Grandma Pat :)


Now this has turned into a long post so I think I am just going to list and not necessarily explain the other things and places I am nostalgic for.

Things:

Old movies
Suspense of reading a Harry Potter novel
Kisses that set off fireworks
Holding hands (wow apparently I miss romance)
Swimming in the ocean
Summer nights
Catching Junebugs
Dancing in the apartment
Dancing with a boy
Singing with my quartet

I had to post a picture. My sisters in harmony.

Continuing on...

Decorating my pending future apartment

Sleeping with my puppies...who are no longer puppies

Eating cereal for dessert

Roadtrips with my family sining to oldies CDs and the Carpenters tape we have over and over again

Watching a good sunset

Family gatherings 

Being tan

Sand in my ears

Being educated

I know there are more but these are what immediately come to mind

Places:

the Beach

BYU-Idaho

Rexburg

Mt. Bony waterfall

Borregos Springs

The Taylor Chapel 

The Temple

The top of Pt. Dume

As for times there are too many to count so I will leave it at I am nostalgic for the memories I hold dearly to my heart. However that nostalgic only makes me smile at the lessons I learned, people I loved, and places I have been. My life has been  a wonderful journey so far and I continue to find joy in every step of the way.

Prone To Wander

Life lately has been dull. I have found myself in a rut of sorts with nothing really exciting happening aside from the sun shining through the ever impeding clouds in the mornings. I have been lacking motivation and the drive to do pretty much anything. I am currently in the process of obtaining a new job since my last one fell through due to a loss in job on the daddios part. Sad. So I have been without schedule and without car without roommates without the need to do much at all. I already struggled enough keeping up on my online classes and now I really don't feel the need to do them whatsoever. However through this slow and dull two week period I have realized some things about myself. I was astonished when I realized I have become subject to being idle. I have just been wandering around aimlessly not immersing myself in the opportunities that surround me (even if they seem difficult to find). I have become subject to wandering. I am prone to wander currently and I honestly cannot live this way anymore. It is beyond frustrating and unexpecedly exhausting and completely and utterly dull. I've realized that I never want to feel this way. Even if I don't have a vehicle of transport currently, or a steady job, or some of my wonderful friends right here with me I do have my own talents and abilities that I need to dedicate to this time I DO have off. I can't just sit around and wait for something to come and get me going for the day. THAT'S MY JOB. I have to wake up and eat a healthy breakfast. I have to resist the urge to flop on the couch and watch TV all day or sit on Facebook waiting for another random notification and getting disappointed when it is some invite or something I could care less about (no offense). I have to get ready for the day and take charge of my life. There's no point in just waiting around for my classes to scream FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK! Or for my fat rolls to protrude so much that I think "huh, I probably should lay off the soda and snacking and sulking and get off my broken butt." Or for my mother to come to find me amidst piles of laundry and half started projects because I get distracted easily and basically have ADD. I am 20 years old. I may be home from school but I have the ability and capacity to take charge of my life currently and do something happy and exciting and uplifting with everyday that I have, even the "down days" where I really have nothing to do. I have the ability to change lives and make a difference but what I am learning very quickly is that there is no way I can make that difference or change that life if I don't start with myself.

So here is my pledge: I will no longer be prone to wandering. I will make something of myself despite this nothingness I feel. I will seize the day. I will no longer be subject to this idleness, but instead I will wake up each morning at a decent time and ready myself for each day and by mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually prepared for each day. "Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for thy Courts above" My heart will be worthy of being sealed above.

Wish They All Could Be California Girls

Today I decided to go to the beach. I've been sick all week and busy busy and decided I need to get some sunshine and breath some fresh ocean air. It was a beautiful day and I really enjoyed time with the ocean and myself. 

It was a beautiful day :) I was only there for a couple of hours but it was enough for me to take pictures, see dolphins, and feel the cool ocean breeze. I truly am grateful for the blessing of being a California native. It's a part of my life and culture. As I drove down Kanan road to the beach the ocean came into view and I was singing and humming along to "Rhythm of Love" my song of the week, and I was just amazed at the beauty in front of me. I felt bad as I realized I have this incredible view at my fingertips everyday. While some of my good friends are stuck in the frigid -34 degrees of Rexburg, Idaho. So yes, coming home this semester was a good decision. I'm grateful to be a California girl :)

Hummin' Along

I am no longer a teenager. Wait a minute. I feel like that statement needs to be declared much louder and stronger. I AM NO LONGER A TEENAGER! That's better. When I think of those words a swirl of feelings overcomes me. I feel happy, strange, sentimental, weird, old, young, in need of a more exciting life, scared, intrigued, and so much more. As I have pondered over the past two days of being 20 years old I have come to realize some things I want to change with this new change in age. I want to be more free. I want to do crazy things. I want to dare and explore. I want to scream HOORAY for being a true adult. I want to get in shape and take control of my life. I want to be free and sound and happy and courageous. I want to find passion and sway to the rhythm of love. I want to find true love and feel comforted in someone's arms. I want to become a mother, a wife, a missionary, a friend, a leader, a listener, and more. I have a lot to offer and as I look back over the many wonderful years of my life I see that I have already offered so much and given what I have had to give in order to bless and enrich others. I want to take time to discover Karla. I want to write and read and sing and dance until my voice is hoarse and my hips are soar. I want to be thought of as extraordinary and enchanting when I meet people--because more often than not I am thinking the same thing about them when I meet them. I want to play at the beach and appreciate the beautiful nature around me. I want to teach children with disabilities. I want to enjoy my college years and take better advantage of my education. I want and pray for an incredible twenties experience. An experience where I find out who Karla Thelma really is. An experience where I find peace in my soul. Where I find what I want out of this life. Where I find my grove, my rhythm, my heart. I am still discovering so many parts of my own soul as I experience so many different facets of life. I look forward to my very own "roaring twenties" to find love and keep it, to make life, to create passion and heartache out of pure and simple love. I plan long after my twenties are gone to still be hummin' along to the beautiful rhythm I left behind me.

Sebastian, My Love

Dearest McKenna Rose Lawler this is for your own viewing pleasure along with anyone else's who cares enough about our new pet-Sebastian. He will put the finishing touch in our soon to be beach themed bedroom for Spring semester 2011. So McKenna, my dear, while you are in Mexico I figured I would document the adventure to get our new "child" (haha for lack of a better term-which if you were here I'm sure you would be able to give me;) Here is the hunt for Sebastian:

This is where the hunt for the perfect hermit crab began.

Walking in to the fish section. Nerves mounting.

So excited! We are so close

(I'd like to take this time to acknowledge my wonderful supporter and camera woman: Erin Benton)

Love at first sight. He was the first one I saw and he was looking at me! I knew it right then.

So many things to get to keep him happy and healthy! We had lots of fun picking out shells, sand, and food. Hermit crabs are really neat little creatures. They love to climb and you always have to have a wet sponge in their cage for them to drink out of and to keep the air moist (you have no idea how hard it was to type that word).

Signing the "adoption" papers! The key thing to notice is the tall curly haired guy in the background awkwardly staring. He is the guy who helped us, but we were too scared/bashful to get an actual picture with him. He was cute...braces and all ;) However, Erin, being the sneaky girl she is, was able to get him in the picture anyways...hence the main reason for this picture. 

Complete! Sebastian is coming home :)

We took him on his first shopping trip. See him sitting in front of the baby seat. Ya that's how we roll.

Hanging our with Auntie Erin :)

His new home. No the little brown pellets in the corner are not poop. It is his food. 

Hope you enjoyed this and feel a included in the adventure, hunt, and adoption of our newest member Sebastian Horne-Lawler. HAHA! Love and miss you and Carly Kay :)